Funny title, I know. It’s May. But this post has been rumbling around my brain for at least the past six weeks. March was a monumental month for us. We welcomed our second baby, a son, Baby E on March 22nd. Fittingly, he is two months old today as I finally sit down to write this post.
Baby E’s entrance into our world didn’t quite go as we imagined. In the end, all is well and we thank God and modern medicine for that. The abrupt change in course left me reeling somewhat and then adjusting to life with a 19-month old, a newborn and several first-calf heifers (new cow moms) and older cows having their own babies (taking up much of my DF’s time!). It was all a bit unsettling and I realized at the end of the first week in April that our calendar was stuck on March; hence the name of this post. I’m one of those superstitious people who changes the calendars on exactly the first day of each month so to see the March page on April 6th was a shock yet not surprising.
Leading up to Baby E’s birth, we heard these (now dreaded) words of wisdom: “The second ones always come easier.” That sounded great to me as I had to push for four hours with TK after a day of pitocin-inducing labor a week and a day after his due date. And it seemed that Baby E agreed – all signs were present that perhaps he may come sooner even than his due date; he certainly was big enough. Besides, everyone else in the world seemed to be having their babies early around then, why not us?
It was not to be. I’m glad for the experience with TK in that it prepared me for what was to come with Baby E. As an expectant first-time mother I found there was so much information out there, checklists, advice, etc. They said you had to have a birth plan which for me was easy enough coming from a family of planners. Luckily before the big day with TK someone told me to remember to keep an open mind. Stay flexible because you can’t foresee exactly what is going to happen. Boy was I glad to have that in my brain prior to our hospital stay – both times.
Back to Baby E’s day. Again we found ourselves at the hospital a week after the due date. Again I was hooked up to a pitocin drip and the contractions started. Again we made our laps around the “Maternity Loop” to encourage labor along. After many hours of the same routine we found that despite our best efforts, being fully effaced and good progress dilating, Baby E’s head just was not dropping as it should have – for you in the medical field he was still negative four station. We needed to make a big decision – continue as we were for a few more hours or face the potential that a stubborn fibroid was in the way and Baby E would not make his way around it as TK had. So, we headed to the operating room for a cesarean section birth.
For as open-minded as I was about what may happen during birth with TK and having accepted the possibility of a c-section with him even though I hoped for a vaginal birth, I did not think much about it with Baby E. I went to the hospital, actually the week before, truly believing things would happen more easily than they did with TK. The fact that they were harder was difficult to accept but sometime during the second week home I did and moved on. I sort of had to – I had two little boys that needed my attention. Two little amazing and beautiful creatures who, for as much as I wished it to be easier in those first few weeks and them a little bit older, will be growing up fast.
I am forever grateful for the love, help and support from our families when we needed it most. Whether it was milking cows, feeding calves, taking care of TK, taking of the dogs, whatever – I think we needed more help than we ever thought we would. Luckily, we know just how fortunate we are and when it’s our turn to step up and help we’ll be ready.
Joanna,
You are an amazing woman. Life is hard. and I think bring life into the world is one of the hardest things we can do as human beings. I think it takes the most effort: mentally, emotionally, physically.
I will always remember one time I helped a first calf heifer with a huge bull calf. It was an incredibly difficult birth, and the presentation was right. It was then I realized how close to death giving life brings us.
Sending you lots of love: and it is okay to get “stuck in March” once in a while. I still love you…