Do you ever have those days when they feel so long that at the end of them, you feel like a pile of blah and collapse into your bed, asleep before you hit the pillow? I’m sure you do. I think we all do. I had them b.c. (before child), and I have them now. The difference now though is typically the last thought I have before sleep claims my consciousness is something like this, “Please please pleeeeeeeease sleep through the night. Or if not through the night, maybe a good 6 hour stretch? Or 5? Even 4. 4 would work.”
We got there last night – about 5 1/2 hours before a cryout but TK was able to settle himself back to sleep and I didn’t have to get out of bed. For that, I am grateful.
Somehow I feel much more refreshed and refocused this morning. Yesterday was filled with emotional turbulence. For sure, it was a bit of a bumpy ride but without the warning from the captain (which would have been helpful). But as with all turbulence, once you’re through it, things feel much calmer and you’re more at ease. You can put the puke bag away. You may even be able to nap a little.
Having a child you know that there’s going to be an added layer of consideration when it comes to decision making – for both big and small things. Whether it’s about where to live or even whether to go through the car wash, as we were the other day. My reaction to my DF’s suggestion to give the jeep a bath: “I don’t know, I’m not sure TK’s ready for it.” Guess what – we went through it and he loved it! I thought he might be scared of the loud noises and whirring brushes but I think he found it rather fascinating, (the dogs on the other hand, were not as impressed.)
I’m not sure anyone can prepare you for how tough some things can be as a parent even when the answer is simple. Don’t get me wrong, everything is fine here. But for the woman who thinks she can do it all, and I’m sure she can, sometimes it helps to admit that maybe she shouldn’t for the sake of quality of life. In the end, it may just be the best decision of all.